Be as specific as possible. --Background-- In the beginning, there was our barren world and the god Nat''Lio the Elder. Though quite powerful, perhaps omnipotent, he was impatient and wished to create life worthy of his name. After contemplating how everything should be, he snapped his fingers, and it was so. Because of his desire to ensure Fate would take kindly to his work, he begat two sons to oversee while he fused himself with this world, thereby creating magic. His nameless sons were left to rule, though they''re often called Chaos and Order or Evil and Well. They are almost polar opposites locked in eternal struggle. That story neatly explains everything and, hence, is tradition, but I have my doubts. What happens when men make gods? There is folklore. While folklore is entertaining, it''s merely something to ensure bards can make a living and parents can get loud children to sleep. -EE

Okay, here's one:

In the fishing village of Netall, there's an old Negh'rin named Jareal who needs a rare weed called garshin, which only grows on top of Mt. Reskav. He doesn't know much about it, but he gives you a gem-studded item he calls a hulrid that he pulled out of the water, thinking it was a ra'jemal fish. He assures you that it will make it possible for you to keep the garshin from spoiling during the three-stellar-cycle trip through the Whindric pass, where the vengeful spirits of the long-dead Ti'Narvon live by drawing life out of passing travellers.

After a gruelling journey to the summit of Mt. Reskav, you are told by a mysterious and ancient creature named "Sup'Erflo'Us A'Postr'Ophe" that garshin is in fact extinct, but a single monk from the distant land of Yerbora has a complete collection of flora in his laboratory. You march through the bamboo forest of Jigrandir, fending off attacks from the deadly Supa Trees that are indigenous to that area, and finally arrive at the Yerboran home of Joovu the monk. He guides you through the air-lock into his study, but explains that containment zone B, where the garshin was stored, was recently lost in a fusion core meltdown, and all his specimens in that sector were vaporized in the flood of radioactivity. In despair, you ask the monk if he has any idea where they might be found, and he tells you of the garshin.

"Garshin isn't a plant at all," Joovu explains, "but the true essence of Nat'Lio. There are no seeds or spores from which it sprouts. It springs forth from the soft ground in places where magic is most pure. Mt. Reskav was only one of the places it could be found, but as the ebb and flow of the tide is the spirit of Nat'Lio, and all things change." He tells you that you have to find the point in the world in which magical energy is most concentrated, and you will find garshin there. He gives you an enchanted GPS that will combine Topographic data from the vast databases in Nuberlein with the magical signature of ambient air currents to produce an LCD map of the surrounding countryside with magical concentrations superimposed on top in the form of magnetic fields, so you can always see where the highest magic levels are by sprinkling iron filings onto the screen.

You thank the monk and set out. After about a week of travelling, you're robbed, and the thief takes all your iron filings, so you have to grind up your glowing axe to keep on the trail. Finally, you reach your destination: A big tree. You climb the tree and find garshin in a pteranodon's nest at the very top. When you take it, you're immediately attacked by a family of flying reptiles. When you vanquish them, you put the garshin into the hulrid and head back to Netall. When you get there, Jareal the old Negh'rin eats all the garshin, belches, and turns into one of those new 500 Magnum Smith and Wesson revolvers. You take the gun and leave.

If you read the whole thing, then you've probably realized that it's a joke. How the hell can anyone submit a suggestion for anything based on the puny information that you've included. Maybe you should do a little more work before you start soliciting creative contributions.

[edited by - Iron Chef Carnage on February 14, 2003 7:42:48 PM]

Wow ICC - all that effort to be sardonic...wrong side of the bed maybe?

(Is there an english noun for ''sardonic''? Like ''irony'' is to ''ironic''. ''Sardony'' sounds too funny. )

It''s funny, but it might be something Square would try.

-EE

quote: Original post by scaught
Wow ICC - all that effort to be sardonic...wrong side of the bed maybe?

I was supposed to be doing physics homework. Other tasks get more important when there''s real work to be done.

By the way, no offense intended.