My Intro Movie: Stars, darkly colored, flicker and give off some of their light..which merge to create a new Avatar of Dark... Clips of Violence, Greed, etc. Show in black-and-white... Another set of stars, this time brightly colored, flicker... this time we hear a conversation betweeen the stars... "This evil has to cease.. the world of Earth has been corrupted..." "This seems to have been started by the Avatar of Dark..." "We shall create our own Avatar of Light..." "Let us give of ourselves..." "Honesty.." "Courage.." "Sacrifice.." . . . As each star gives a piece of it''s Light.. it merges with the other sacrificed pieces. This new star falls to Earth.. Falls into a cave of crystal.. where it''s Light Shatters and we see the figure of a female step out.. and the Title screen is Shown... " Cool StarLight - The Warrior of Balance " An Engine for my Game An Engine for my Car ... All I need now, is a Game for my Car!

Guess I should have asked a question, as i am not see-ing any replies.

Can anyone help me further this along?

I am feeling it is lacking in conflict.

Maybe someone can help me develop a personality for the hero-ine?
Am thinking along the lines of a theme that "one''s worst enemy is him/her self!"

Thankies

CJACK

I hadn''t responded because, well...there isn''t a lot to go on.

What, exactly, is the Avatar of Dark? Who created it? What are these "stars" - gods? Do they simply watch without getting involved? Do they serve concepts like Order, Chaos, Good, Evil? Are there evil stars, or is there a completely different set of evil entities who created it?

Is this Avatar of Light aware of her origins? What is this Cave of Crystals? If the Avatar of Dark self-aware, or is he/she just a tool of evil forces?

Are the people of the planet aware of the Dark Avatar, or does he/she operate behind the scenes with no one ever aware of his/her machinations?

Is the Light Avatar meant as a tool for balance, or an assasination tool to destroy the Avatar of Dark?

Is she really a creature for good, or a pawn in a game of one-upsmanship?

You''ve given a visually interesting intro, but - for the writer''s forum, anyway - I expect people need background in order to understand it and offer suggestions.

O.k. Thanks Trick!

Guess I hadn''t fully developed my story.. that was part of why i put up my 2nd post.. wanting poeple to help me think it through.


As far as the Stars...I was thinking they are the... for the lack of a better term.. "personification" LOL.. of character traits.. Honesty / Deceit..Courage/Cowardice..

Evil Stars? Well.. not necessarily "evil" but reading above.. I htink you will get the idea.

Who/What created the Stars? i have not yet decided.. suggestions?

Are the Avatars aware of their origins, and even self-aware?
Well, with the intro movie showing the Light Avatar''s origin, the player is at least aware, thus to allow for dis-belief suspension, would be better to allow her the awareness of her origin.

Dark Avatar''s self-awareness. hmm. How would each play out in terms of conflict between the Avatars?

Light Avatar''s purpose. Since the Light Stars are represenatives of the "Good" character traits. I would imagine that She is more of a tool for Balance than an Assassin. but if presented with a story idea where the Assassin works well...

Ah! The Crystal Cave. Just an interesting visual. No real Purpose.. at least yet.


One-upsmanship? That could provide Quite an interesting stroyline for the overall conflict.. could it not? Thanks! :D

Naw.. if the Light Stars represent the "better" character traits.. would be self-conflicting to have them "one-up" the Dark Stars? Would it not?


Does this answer you well enough?

And Thank you again for prodding my thoughts.

CJACK


An Engine for my Game
An Engine for my Car
...
All I need now, is a Game for my Car!

Are you familiar with the concept of deadly sins/virtues? You might want to look into them and incorporate the ideology into your storyline. Taken from a few sources:

The most immediate and direct source (of sins and virtues) is likely from the legalistic mind of Roman Catholicism. However, such concepts predate Christianity. These ideas go back to Chaldean (Babylonian) astrology. The ancient Chaldeans could locate seven major heavenly bodies which appeared to wander in the sky. They developed the idea of seven planets and since they did not have telescopes, thought that these seven bodies rotated in seven concentric circles. They came to believe that these seven planets were spiritual entities. Over the centuries, the idea developed that each of these planetary spheres was governed by spiritual beings. As the ancient Chaldeans and other ancient cultures began to develop a system of social behaviour, this idea of seven spiritual spheres had a great influence on the ideas of good and evil.

For example, the so-called seven deadly sins were attached to specific planets, particularly by the Gnostic teachers. Each sin had a specific evil spirit, one of the "keepers of the astral gates or telonia" which pagans and Gnostics believed would attempt to keep the soul from passing by when it departed the body. Thus, envy was associated with the Moon, greed with the Sun, lying with Mercury, lust with Venus, wrathfulness with Mars, pride with Jupiter, and sloth with Saturn. In ancient times, it was thought that when a soul departed from this life, it would attempt to pass through these astral planes, but would be judged at each astral gate by an archon (guardian spirit) of the gate with regard to the specific sin attached to the planetary sphere.

The Moslems of the middle ages held the idea the there was a specific good angel attached to each of the planetary spheres. This idea likely arose from the old pagan Hellenic philosophers and mythologists, who believed that the planets were pulled along in a transparent substance by spiritual entities. Some Moslem teachers interpreted these spiritual entities as angels, and this idea was borrowed directly by the medieval Latin scholastic writers. The seven astral sphere angels became identified with seven specific virtues.

Another idea, based on the two opposing forces you''re considering. I became a big fan of Michael Moorcock''s work in his Eternal Champion books - not so much for his characters (although I''m a big Elric fan), but for his concepts of the multiverse and Order vs. Chaos rather than the traditional Good vs. Evil. It''s the latter I''m suggesting you look into.

Again quoting from other sources:

While not evil in the traditional sense, Moorcock writes Chaos as agents of change. Moorcock''s Lords of Chaos have a constant need to create. They create beauty and suffering but how they differ from Order is nothing stays the same for long. Many think of Chaos as evil and the Chaos Lords are often referred to as Princes of Hell. They are seen as evil because in order to create, they need to first destroy what has come before. They destroy entire universes to create a clean (canvas) to work from. In contrast, The Lords of Order represent stagnation. They fight to preserve the status quo even if the status quo is not good or worth saving.

At a glance, Order is seen as Good; they work to preserve life, to protect existance as we know it. From a human standpoint that''s a very good thing, and so the Lords of Order are "loved".

Now looking at it from a cosmic standpoint, you realize that life is all about change. Things have to change in order to grow, to evolve; Order is against change, any kind of change - they don''t distinguish between good change and bad change because change is Chaotic, and Order is against anything of Chaos. If Order had its way, humanity would never change at all; in that light, Chaos is a good thing, and Order "evil". Perspective is everything.

For my pre-teen mind oh so many years ago it was a mind-boggling concept - but an eye-opening one. It''s not a concept you''d have to use, obviously, but I present it as a way to look at your star-deities in a new light (pun intended)

quote: Original post by EricTrickster
It''s not a concept you''d have to use, obviously, but I present it as a way to look at your star-deities in a new light (pun intended)

LOL - Great Pun!

I am liking the Religious reference you showed me in the other post, too.

Do you know of any easily available electronic texts on the Gnostic belief system that I could reference, as I further develop my story?

Many Thanks,

CJack



An Engine for my Game
An Engine for my Car
...
All I need now, is a Game for my Car!

For a core source, try:

http://www.gnosis.org/welcome.html

If you want something more simplistic and direct to your idea:

http://www.enemies.com/html/oldtestament/2/7rulers.html

Good luck.

Lots of Great info there Trick!

This will help me considerably in my story line!

Very much Appreciated!

CJACK

An Engine for my Game
An Engine for my Car
...
All I need now, is a Game for my Car!